T-Bex the Mighty

It is a fact of life in this business that there are going to be busy, hard days.  Some of those days are unpredictable, some we can see in advance. We do our best to plan but you know how it goes, best laid plans, and all.  No matter the case,  the stress, pressure, and constant movement can take their toll both physically and emotionally. I know, I’ve had nervous breakdowns from them. On more than one occasion I was tempted to walk out and never look back .  It was overwhelming, and I wanted someone to come help.  In fact, I would get furiously angry that no one was helping me.   I felt like someone had to be at fault, that there had to be a simple solution, and someone out there was responsible for that idea and was clearly withholding it from me because they hated me and hoped I failed.  Of course, those were all lies my mind was telling me.  I was tired, my body was on the verge of falling apart, and no one was coming to my rescue. ...

The other day, I made a decision.  For me, it was revolutionary and completely terrifying.  It is in regards to how I handle having an eating disorder and how I talk about it.  You see, for the most part, I didn't.  Not out loud, in person, to people I love. Almost never do I tell them what it's really like for me on a day to day basis. So, I made the decision to talk about it.   I can write about eating disorders until my fingers fall off.  But looking someone in the eyes and saying, "Eating is hard for me.  Every day.  All the time.  Not just when things are bad or I'm stressed out, just all the time."  Felt like a social death sentence.  What would my friends think of me when I suddenly put them face to face with the darkest, hardest to swallow, piece of me?  Especially when like, 80% of my friends are fat?  Would it sound like a humble brag?  Would they think that instead of my real reality, which is ...